Elizabeth L. Hoogendyk

Elizabeth “Beth” Hoogendyk passed away on March 4, 2022 at the age of 68. She passed peacefully, with family by her side, after a long battle with heart issues. She is survived by her husband Tom, her son Nicholas, her daughter Chelsea, her daughter-in-law Kira, and her first grandchild, Wiley, due this summer. Beth will be remembered as a mom and wife that cared for and loved her family with a gentle smile and compassionate heart. In lieu of flowers or donations, Beth’s family asks that you go out of your way to give your loved ones a big hug in her memory and let them know they are loved. Words from her son: There are few things in life that rival the magnitude of a mother’s love. Today, as I sit here steeped in the memory of that love, it feels hard to believe that it could ever be contained in one body. For so many years, it was in your eyes when you looked at me. It was in your hand on my shoulder when my world felt too heavy to bear. It was in the tears you cried out of joy and sorrow for our joys and our sorrows. For the all too fast 36 years I shared with you, it was in every part of the way that you danced through the world, in every moment you gave to us. When a person you love is no longer in their body, it feels like they are in everything. As we walked through the dimly lit halls of the hospital late Friday night, I felt haunted. You were in those uncomfortable, pale walls. You were in the sympathy filled faces of the doctors and nurses who had worked so hard to keep you alive for as long as they could. You were in the air around us, air that was condensing, slowing us down to freeze us in that moment. You were everywhere. We are still frozen. But in this stillness, you have given us solace. There is heartache. There is an unbearable amount of heartache, but there is a profound understanding as well. You didn’t leave us behind. You just went ahead of us to beckon us on toward greater things. Calling us to love harder, to trust our sense of adventure more, and to fill our lives with the sorts of memories that you were so grateful to have in your own. In the interest of gratitude for all that you taught us, mom – and all that you continue to teach us – I promise to remember. I promise to remember how you looked at me with all the love in the world in your eyes. I promise to remember how, begrudgingly, and after a couple heavy pour glasses of wine, you danced with me. You hated that. You hated it so much that I promise to remember that you smiled the whole time, every time. I will remember that the universe conspired in so many ways to shape your and my lives, and the lives of so many people we love, to bring us together as mother and son – biology be damned. I will remember long walks down calm shorelines in La Jolla. I will remember how safe I felt with you, and how you shaped me to keep the people I love safe. I promise, I promise that in everything I ever do, I will remember you. Thank you, mom. For everything. Time will temper this heartache. But for now, for today, tomorrow, and the other days, I will sit with immense sorrow because it is a small price to pay for the love I was given. Words from her daughter: I can’t express in words the way I feel right now. All I know is I’m going to miss sitting in the kitchen getting lost in our conversations late at night, watching you cook, and taking mental notes. I’ll miss looking out in the crowd and seeing you cheer me on at every single sporting event, even if you didn't understand what was going on. I’ll miss going dress shopping at a dozen stores until I found the right one. You made me feel so beautiful. It’s the little things that I’m going to miss the most. You showed me what a strong woman looks like, how to love, and how to be compassionate toward others. Thank you for being an amazing woman and loving me as much as you did. I will keep reminding myself what you told me whenever I was going through something hard in my life: “Smile though your heart is aching. Smile even though it's breaking. When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by. That's the time you must keep on trying.” You always had good taste in music. There won’t be a day that goes by where I won’t miss you. I love you so much, mama, and I’ll keep smiling for you.

Tributes

Elizabeth L. Hoogendyk

August 21, 1953 - March 4, 2022