The "Stages" of Grief and Loss

When it comes to grief, everyone is different and experiences loss and pain in their own ways. There isn’t a set right or wrong way to grieve and there is unfortunately no magic solution to make it fade away. Here we share a little about grief and the common stages that are experienced in times of loss. 


Grief Defined

Grief is a natural response to sudden loss. It doesn’t necessarily have to be tied to death, but is a strong emotional response to losing something you valued. Often, that is in the form of a death in the family, but grief can be in response to a number of other events such as divorce, loss of friendship, losing a job, and more. Coping with grief is difficult, but you do not have to do it alone. Be sure to reach out to friends and family during this trying time when you are ready. 


The "Stages" of Grief

The journey through the grief is different for everyone, but professionals have concluded that most of us experience times of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance when faced with a loss. While commonly known as "stages," in reality, grief does not take the form of an orderly, structured progression, and there is no set timeline for what you may experience. You might find yourself experiencing the same "stage" multiple times, or in a different order than what you went through after a previous loss.


Denial

As humans, we instinctively reject or recoil from loss, and may not immediately be able to face the reality of the situation. We can't believe that the loss actually occurred, or might say that we are completely fine and unaffected. This time of denial can serve as a buffer, giving a grieving person the time and room they need to organize their thoughts and protect themselves from the overwhelming emotions.


Anger

Once the feelings of pain and reality begin to set in, anger can grow. We may be angry with the deceased for abandoning us, angry at the situation that caused the loss, angry at the unfairness of it all. This is completely natural and normal. If the emotion starts to build and feel overwhelming, physical activity can help to release some of it. Verbalizing your angry thoughts and feelings to a trusted person can also help you at this time.


Bargaining

In time, you may enter a period of bargaining, and might find yourself using “if only” sort of language. “If only I had done this, if only someone had done that, if only this would have happened..." You may also feel guilt, thinking perhaps if you had done something better or differently that the outcome wouldn’t have been the same, perhaps trying to bargain with a higher power.


Depression

You may also express a period of depression and extreme sadness. It is important to allow yourself to feel these feelings and work through them the best you can. People often say or think “Well, what’s the point? There’s nothing I can do.” When the feelings become overwhelming, you may feel isolated and alone, but please try to reach out to someone you trust and express what you are going through to them.


Acceptance

After a period of time, you will find yourself at a place of acceptance. You still hurt, but have acknowledged the reality of your loss and are coming to terms with how your life has changed because of it.


Please know that this is not a linear journey, and you may move in and out of each of these multiple times depending on circumstances such as holidays, certain dates on the calendar, and life's transition stages. Give yourself grace during the times when you may feel like you are going backwards. For more support, please see our additional grief resources.


June 12, 2026
When you’re planning services and arrangements for a loved one, the options and choices may be overwhelming. At Bohlender Funeral Chapel, our team is here to help guide you through this difficult time with quality, compassionate services, and individualized attention. If you’re considering cremation in your end-of-life plans or for a loved one, here are four reasons our team recommends this option.
June 12, 2026
When it comes to funeral services and memorial services, many people have questions that are difficult to ask. At Bohlender Funeral Chapel, our team is here to assist families and individuals through the death of a loved one with compassionate, informative services. Here are four common questions our team receives about cremation services.
June 12, 2026
Different cultures around the world deal with death in different ways. Many choose to have a cremation or burial ceremony just like in the U.S., however, there are some funeral ceremonies that are drastically different than what people in the U.S. are accustomed to. In today’s blog here at Bohlender Funeral Chapel in Fort Collins, we talk about other beautiful funeral ceremony traditions and where they are popular. Learn more about our funeral home services here at Bohlender Funeral Chapelin Fort Collins and get help planning the perfect celebration of life for your loved one. New Orleans Jazz Funerals You might be thinking, “Well, New Orleans is in the U.S.!” — and you’re right. But, that doesn’t mean that they can’t have unique funeral ceremony traditions. Not everyone in New Orleans has a jazz funeral, but anyone can request one if they’d like. However, most jazz funerals are held for musicians. In a traditional jazz funeral, the funeral ceremony begins at the church or funeral home and is then led to the cemetery by a marching band. The music starts off slow and heavy while everyone is walking to the cemetery. Once the body is buried and people are on the way back from the cemetery, the music becomes upbeat and celebratory to honor and celebrate the departed. Anyone and everyone nearby are encouraged to join as long as they are respectful and courteous. Eternal Reefs Eternal Reefs is a Florida-based company that has taken a completely new approach to funerals. Eternal Reefs takes cremated remains and places them in an environmentally safe concrete urn. The urn is created in such a way that it creates new habitats for marine wildlife. This makes it so that you or your loved one become a part of a coral reef and help to support new life. Eternal Reefs are a great way to commemorate your loved one and help them make the world a better place. Even though there are no oceans or coral reefs here in Fort Collins, that doesn’t stop our family at Bohlender Funeral Chapelfrom offering a funeral ceremony that is beneficial for the family and the earth. We are proud to offer our green burial funeral service, learn more about it here at Bohlender Funeral Chapel. Burial Beads In certain areas of the world, there is very limited space for burials and other traditional funeral ceremony practices. One method that South Korea has been practicing regularly is the burial bead funeral ceremony. With burial beads, cremated remains are pressed into beautiful beads that closely resemble that of jewelry or pearls. A wide variety of colors and urn options are available. This is a way for the people of South Korea to find beauty from a difficult situation while also making use of the limited space. The Philippines All across the Philippines, funeral ceremonies vary wildly. There are more than nine very different funeral traditions across the country. Some of the more poetic and beautiful traditions include tree burials and hanging coffins. Tree Burials Tree burials are most commonly practiced in the Cavite region of the Philippines. Cavite is located about 10 miles from the bustling Manila and they have still managed to maintain their unique funeral ceremony customs. Tree burials are where the person who expects their time is limited will go and select the tree of their choice. Once the tree is selected and the person’s days are numbered, a small shelter is built near the tree for them to live in. When they pass, they are entombed upright into the selected tree. Hanging Coffin In the Sagada region of the Philippines, coffins are often hung off the sides of cliffs or on the walls of high-up caves. The elderly or sick craft their own caskets by hand if they are able and once they have moved on, they are placed in the casket they created and hung high. They are placed next to their ancestors and loved ones as high off the ground as possible. This is because the native people believe that the higher the dead are to heaven, the easier their journey will be. This is a tradition that has been performed for thousands for years and will likely continue for years to come. Fantasy Coffins Ghana is a country in Africa where people have taken to a funeral ceremony called fantasy coffins. Fantasy coffins are unique coffins that help to represent who the person was in their life. For example, someone who was a fisherman their whole life may choose to be buried in a fish coffin. Or someone who had a love for books and novels may choose to be buried in a book-shaped coffin. These are fun and lighthearted ways to memorialize and celebrate the life of the dearly departed.  We hope that you learned something new and got valuable insight into other culture’s funeral ceremony customs. If you would like to learn more about the funeral services we offer here at Bohlender Funeral Chapel in Fort Collins, don’t hesitate to reach out to us. We are a family-owned funeral home with a passion for helping people in any way we can. We offer invaluable healing experiences for you and your family through our cremation service, burial service, funeral flowers, and much more.
June 12, 2026
Planning a funeral can be overwhelming, especially when it comes to budgeting for the various expenses involved. At Bohlender Funeral Chapel in Fort Collins, we understand the importance of honoring a loved one while managing financial responsibilities. Let us help you navigate the funeral planning process, ensuring you can create a meaningful celebration that respects your loved one’s memory without stretching your finances. Then start the pre-planning process with us today.
More Posts »

More Resources & Support