Humor and grief: a letter from me to you
Today, I’d like to make a departure from the tone of our typical blog articles. Instead of writing about grief research or ways to lead a healthier life, I’d like to get a little bit personal.
First, an introduction: I’m Lindsey. I’ve been writing these blog posts for about a year now.
I came into this job several months ago, not from a history interacting with funerals, but from a history interacting with content. Having curated, written, and edited articles for several brands in the past, I was excited for the opportunity and challenge of attempting to connect with an online audience in this topic area that was so foreign to me.
Embarking on this new adventure, I determined that I would be open to trying new things ... things that seemed weird or unnatural, even. That’s what led me, after a couple of months on the job, to try posting humorous content on our Facebook page
-- a move I made with some trepidation, considering that our industry is naturally so focused on soothing those who have experienced great loss.
It started back in March of this year with a comical cartoon I stumbled upon online. The illustration
is of a group of mourners at a cemetery standing next to a square-shaped casket awaiting interment. The ground beside the casket has been dug up, but not in a square shape. Instead, the hole is circular. One of the mourners is saying, “Well, he never fit in, so this is how he wanted to be remembered.”
I posted the image on Facebook, aware that our audience might not be ready to accept a humorous message from our company. But, as I said earlier, I was determined to at least try.
What I discovered from posting that cartoon and several subsequent funny images -- a man on his deathbed
requesting to be buried with an elephant bone to confuse future archaeologists, vegetables crying
at an onion’s funeral, what happened when Picasso was a mortician for a day
-- was that not only is our audience mostly OK with humor as it relates to death and grief, they actually seem to love it.
Since I began working with Newcomer, my five most successful Facebook posts have been funny ones. The best one so far? A cartoon featuring the regrettable aftermath
of a corn cob’s cremation.
Now, I look forward to the day of the week, every week, when my humor posts go live for our audience to see. (That day of the week, by the way, is Thursday … in case you’re interested in following
the future of these posts.) I’m excited each time somebody likes or shares one.
I’ve done some thinking about why humor, of all things, would perform well on a funeral home’s social media site. One reason is certainly because of the venue; if the funny videos and images in my news feed are any indication, Facebookers love humor. But I think there may be more to the success of those posts than their natural potential to go “viral.”
In this discussion, one particular story comes to mind: When I was much younger, my good friend’s mother passed away. She’d had a long battle with cancer, and though her death was not a surprise, that loss was huge for many. My friend, who had cared for and comforted his mother throughout the end of her life, was certainly mournful. But shortly after his mother’s passing, he started to crack jokes about it.
My reaction to his attempts at humor after such a huge loss was, at first, discomfort. Wasn’t it disrespectful to laugh? Didn’t laughing somehow diminish the gravity of the situation?
Over time, and having experienced several great losses of my own, I’ve come to understand that what my friend was doing made a lot of sense. It was healthy, even. At times when events in my life have been the most difficult, humor has been an indispensable comfort. Poking fun at myself for the circumstances surrounding a breakup, dissolving into fits of giggles when my stress has overwhelmed me, and even, somehow, finding a way to laugh about the way my grandpa wore his baseball caps while struggling with Alzheimer’s disease … these moments of joy that punctuated such palpable sadness helped me cope. They helped me see that something good could be on the other side of my circumstances.
Which brings me back to today, as I spend a few moments looking at my company’s Facebook data and notice, once again, that our most recent humorous post has far surpassed all other recent posts in popularity. I like to imagine that this one, along with the others, has reached at least one grieving person and allowed her to find a moment of joy. In reality, so much of our lives are outside of our control, but if we can find ways to laugh about what’s hard or what we don’t understand, I think we can probably conquer almost anything.
Thank you for laughing and for allowing me to laugh with you.
We’re always interested in hearing what you think about the content we post here and on Facebook. If you have ideas or suggestions, please reach out. You can send us a message over on Facebook.
When you’re planning services and arrangements for a loved one, the options and choices may be overwhelming. At Bohlender Funeral Chapel, our team is here to help guide you through this difficult time with quality, compassionate services, and individualized attention. If you’re considering cremation in your end-of-life plans or for a loved one, here are four reasons our team recommends this option.
When it comes to funeral services and memorial services, many people have questions that are difficult to ask. At Bohlender Funeral Chapel, our team is here to assist families and individuals through the death of a loved one with compassionate, informative services. Here are four common questions our team receives about cremation services.
Different cultures around the world deal with death in different ways. Many choose to have a cremation or burial ceremony just like in the U.S., however, there are some funeral ceremonies that are drastically different than what people in the U.S. are accustomed to. In today’s blog here at Bohlender Funeral Chapel in Fort Collins, we talk about other beautiful funeral ceremony traditions and where they are popular. Learn more about our funeral home services here at Bohlender Funeral Chapelin Fort Collins and get help planning the perfect celebration of life for your loved one. New Orleans Jazz Funerals You might be thinking, “Well, New Orleans is in the U.S.!” — and you’re right. But, that doesn’t mean that they can’t have unique funeral ceremony traditions. Not everyone in New Orleans has a jazz funeral, but anyone can request one if they’d like. However, most jazz funerals are held for musicians. In a traditional jazz funeral, the funeral ceremony begins at the church or funeral home and is then led to the cemetery by a marching band. The music starts off slow and heavy while everyone is walking to the cemetery. Once the body is buried and people are on the way back from the cemetery, the music becomes upbeat and celebratory to honor and celebrate the departed. Anyone and everyone nearby are encouraged to join as long as they are respectful and courteous. Eternal Reefs Eternal Reefs is a Florida-based company that has taken a completely new approach to funerals. Eternal Reefs takes cremated remains and places them in an environmentally safe concrete urn. The urn is created in such a way that it creates new habitats for marine wildlife. This makes it so that you or your loved one become a part of a coral reef and help to support new life. Eternal Reefs are a great way to commemorate your loved one and help them make the world a better place. Even though there are no oceans or coral reefs here in Fort Collins, that doesn’t stop our family at Bohlender Funeral Chapelfrom offering a funeral ceremony that is beneficial for the family and the earth. We are proud to offer our green burial funeral service, learn more about it here at Bohlender Funeral Chapel. Burial Beads In certain areas of the world, there is very limited space for burials and other traditional funeral ceremony practices. One method that South Korea has been practicing regularly is the burial bead funeral ceremony. With burial beads, cremated remains are pressed into beautiful beads that closely resemble that of jewelry or pearls. A wide variety of colors and urn options are available. This is a way for the people of South Korea to find beauty from a difficult situation while also making use of the limited space. The Philippines All across the Philippines, funeral ceremonies vary wildly. There are more than nine very different funeral traditions across the country. Some of the more poetic and beautiful traditions include tree burials and hanging coffins. Tree Burials Tree burials are most commonly practiced in the Cavite region of the Philippines. Cavite is located about 10 miles from the bustling Manila and they have still managed to maintain their unique funeral ceremony customs. Tree burials are where the person who expects their time is limited will go and select the tree of their choice. Once the tree is selected and the person’s days are numbered, a small shelter is built near the tree for them to live in. When they pass, they are entombed upright into the selected tree. Hanging Coffin In the Sagada region of the Philippines, coffins are often hung off the sides of cliffs or on the walls of high-up caves. The elderly or sick craft their own caskets by hand if they are able and once they have moved on, they are placed in the casket they created and hung high. They are placed next to their ancestors and loved ones as high off the ground as possible. This is because the native people believe that the higher the dead are to heaven, the easier their journey will be. This is a tradition that has been performed for thousands for years and will likely continue for years to come. Fantasy Coffins Ghana is a country in Africa where people have taken to a funeral ceremony called fantasy coffins. Fantasy coffins are unique coffins that help to represent who the person was in their life. For example, someone who was a fisherman their whole life may choose to be buried in a fish coffin. Or someone who had a love for books and novels may choose to be buried in a book-shaped coffin. These are fun and lighthearted ways to memorialize and celebrate the life of the dearly departed.  We hope that you learned something new and got valuable insight into other culture’s funeral ceremony customs. If you would like to learn more about the funeral services we offer here at Bohlender Funeral Chapel in Fort Collins, don’t hesitate to reach out to us. We are a family-owned funeral home with a passion for helping people in any way we can. We offer invaluable healing experiences for you and your family through our cremation service, burial service, funeral flowers, and much more.
Planning a funeral can be overwhelming, especially when it comes to budgeting for the various expenses involved. At Bohlender Funeral Chapel in Fort Collins, we understand the importance of honoring a loved one while managing financial responsibilities. Let us help you navigate the funeral planning process, ensuring you can create a meaningful celebration that respects your loved one’s memory without stretching your finances. Then start the pre-planning process with us today.
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