5 things that my mother’s death has taught me
Losing your mother isn’t something you can ever prepare for. She was a significant part of your life, and now you have adjust to her not being around. Sometimes it becomes hard to see that light at the end of the tunnel but with time, you will.
I have learned that grief isn’t something you can just get over, but I’ve also realized that grieving can make your life richer in unexpected ways. I want to share five things my mother’s death has taught me in hopes that it will help someone else going through losing their mother.
Be Kind to Yourself
When I lost my mother, I remember not taking care of myself or punishing myself for the way I was grieving. I became forgetful, and my mind was foggy. You have to remember that everyone grieves differently. You are grieving, and you can’t feel guilty for doing so. Be kind and take care of yourself; it’s one of the most important things you can do.
You’re the Source of Your Prosperity
While grieving, I learned everyone has their own coping mechanisms. But some of these mechanisms don’t always support self-care. The best thing you can do for yourself is to face grief directly, no matter how hard it may be. I chose to thrive through prioritizing self-care. Whether it is enjoying your favorite coffee drink or taking a long bath with your favorite bath bomb, prioritize yourself.
Do What Works for You
I found myself not to be super religious, but I still appreciated guidance from the campus chaplain at my college. I hadn’t danced since I was a kid, but I found stress relief and joy in taking a few dance classes. There is no specific method to get through grieving, so see what works for you and use it to get through those hard times.
No One Can Fill That Void in Your Life
The hole in my heart created when my mom left this earth, is a hole that no one else can fill. I used to wonder who would ever understand me, the way that my mother did? Or who will I call with problems that only mom can solve? I have amazing influences in my life who are there for me when I need them, but they will never replace my mom. Healing does not mean we have to substitute, but we must expand, despite the holes we carry.
Healing With Time
You’ll often hear that “time heals all wounds.” On the contrary, grieving doesn’t have a timeline. There will always be good and bad days, but once we make it through those bad days, we’ll find a greater appreciation for the little joys on the good days. By finding effective coping mechanisms, you’ll begin living in the present again. My mood does not have to be determined by the pain I endured in the past.
Losing a parent is just plain hard. I hope sharing my story in lessons I’ve learned helps someone else who is dealing with the pain of losing a parent.
When you’re planning services and arrangements for a loved one, the options and choices may be overwhelming. At Bohlender Funeral Chapel, our team is here to help guide you through this difficult time with quality, compassionate services, and individualized attention. If you’re considering cremation in your end-of-life plans or for a loved one, here are four reasons our team recommends this option.
When it comes to funeral services and memorial services, many people have questions that are difficult to ask. At Bohlender Funeral Chapel, our team is here to assist families and individuals through the death of a loved one with compassionate, informative services. Here are four common questions our team receives about cremation services.
Different cultures around the world deal with death in different ways. Many choose to have a cremation or burial ceremony just like in the U.S., however, there are some funeral ceremonies that are drastically different than what people in the U.S. are accustomed to. In today’s blog here at Bohlender Funeral Chapel in Fort Collins, we talk about other beautiful funeral ceremony traditions and where they are popular. Learn more about our funeral home services here at Bohlender Funeral Chapelin Fort Collins and get help planning the perfect celebration of life for your loved one. New Orleans Jazz Funerals You might be thinking, “Well, New Orleans is in the U.S.!” — and you’re right. But, that doesn’t mean that they can’t have unique funeral ceremony traditions. Not everyone in New Orleans has a jazz funeral, but anyone can request one if they’d like. However, most jazz funerals are held for musicians. In a traditional jazz funeral, the funeral ceremony begins at the church or funeral home and is then led to the cemetery by a marching band. The music starts off slow and heavy while everyone is walking to the cemetery. Once the body is buried and people are on the way back from the cemetery, the music becomes upbeat and celebratory to honor and celebrate the departed. Anyone and everyone nearby are encouraged to join as long as they are respectful and courteous. Eternal Reefs Eternal Reefs is a Florida-based company that has taken a completely new approach to funerals. Eternal Reefs takes cremated remains and places them in an environmentally safe concrete urn. The urn is created in such a way that it creates new habitats for marine wildlife. This makes it so that you or your loved one become a part of a coral reef and help to support new life. Eternal Reefs are a great way to commemorate your loved one and help them make the world a better place. Even though there are no oceans or coral reefs here in Fort Collins, that doesn’t stop our family at Bohlender Funeral Chapelfrom offering a funeral ceremony that is beneficial for the family and the earth. We are proud to offer our green burial funeral service, learn more about it here at Bohlender Funeral Chapel. Burial Beads In certain areas of the world, there is very limited space for burials and other traditional funeral ceremony practices. One method that South Korea has been practicing regularly is the burial bead funeral ceremony. With burial beads, cremated remains are pressed into beautiful beads that closely resemble that of jewelry or pearls. A wide variety of colors and urn options are available. This is a way for the people of South Korea to find beauty from a difficult situation while also making use of the limited space. The Philippines All across the Philippines, funeral ceremonies vary wildly. There are more than nine very different funeral traditions across the country. Some of the more poetic and beautiful traditions include tree burials and hanging coffins. Tree Burials Tree burials are most commonly practiced in the Cavite region of the Philippines. Cavite is located about 10 miles from the bustling Manila and they have still managed to maintain their unique funeral ceremony customs. Tree burials are where the person who expects their time is limited will go and select the tree of their choice. Once the tree is selected and the person’s days are numbered, a small shelter is built near the tree for them to live in. When they pass, they are entombed upright into the selected tree. Hanging Coffin In the Sagada region of the Philippines, coffins are often hung off the sides of cliffs or on the walls of high-up caves. The elderly or sick craft their own caskets by hand if they are able and once they have moved on, they are placed in the casket they created and hung high. They are placed next to their ancestors and loved ones as high off the ground as possible. This is because the native people believe that the higher the dead are to heaven, the easier their journey will be. This is a tradition that has been performed for thousands for years and will likely continue for years to come. Fantasy Coffins Ghana is a country in Africa where people have taken to a funeral ceremony called fantasy coffins. Fantasy coffins are unique coffins that help to represent who the person was in their life. For example, someone who was a fisherman their whole life may choose to be buried in a fish coffin. Or someone who had a love for books and novels may choose to be buried in a book-shaped coffin. These are fun and lighthearted ways to memorialize and celebrate the life of the dearly departed. We hope that you learned something new and got valuable insight into other culture’s funeral ceremony customs. If you would like to learn more about the funeral services we offer here at Bohlender Funeral Chapel in Fort Collins, don’t hesitate to reach out to us. We are a family-owned funeral home with a passion for helping people in any way we can. We offer invaluable healing experiences for you and your family through our cremation service, burial service, funeral flowers, and much more.
Planning a funeral can be overwhelming, especially when it comes to budgeting for the various expenses involved. At Bohlender Funeral Chapel in Fort Collins, we understand the importance of honoring a loved one while managing financial responsibilities. Let us help you navigate the funeral planning process, ensuring you can create a meaningful celebration that respects your loved one’s memory without stretching your finances. Then start the pre-planning process with us today.
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