8 Listening Do’s and Don’ts When Someone is Grieving
When someone is grieving, it can be hard to know what to do. How to console them, how to let them know that you understand their pain, and most of all how to be there for them during daily life. Here are some of the Do’s and Don’ts when it comes to being there for someone in your life when they lose someone important to them:
1) Reach out: Acknowledge the loss for your friend and reach out to them to let them know you’re there. After a loss, they will be blindsided. Take the initiative and let them know you’re sorry for their loss and how you’re there for them. Whether it’s in person, a phone call, or an e-mail/letter. Just reach out in any way possible.
2) Listen more, talk less: We understand, this is a tough one. You want to keep telling your friend that “I’m here for you”, “What can I do to help you?”, etc. The best thing you can do is just listen. Your friend has experienced a loss, so let them get their words out and just be there for them. If there is a dark side to the passing, don’t be afraid to listen to it. Listen intently and with genuine curiosity, and don’t be afraid to ask questions, but understand that there may be things your friend may not want to get into right away, and that is just okay. Know your friend may start crying and you might too. That’s fine, because sometimes actions like tears may speak more than words do.
3) Reminisce: If you knew the deceased, share memories or photos of them with the grieving. If you didn’t know them, then ask to hear a story about them. It’ll show your friend that while their loved one may be gone, the memories of them are still there and deserved to be shared with others.
4) Check in later: Grief has no timetable and people still may be dealing with its effects even months later. Make sure to check in later and see how they’re doing, maybe invite them out to lunch or a cup of coffee and see how they’re coping with the loss.
5) Don’t ignore them: Rejection makes us all scared, but don’t let that fear stop you from reaching out. You can be worried about saying the wrong thing, but willfully ignoring them is worse. You don’t have to be there 24/7 for them — we all have our own lives too — but a simple reaching out and offering condolences is better than ghosting them.
6) Don’t compare: Every loss hurts. Whether it’s a father, a child, or a pet. Every grief is different and there is no reason to compare. Just work on being there for them and allowing them to work through their grief.
7) Don’t rush: Grief is different for everyone. Whether it was a father who lived to the ripe age of 90, or the loss of a child. Each loss is an intense experience, and an individual never gets over a loss — they only learn to manage it.
8) Don’t let fear stop you: It’s understandable to be worried how to reach out to someone. Maybe they want to be left alone, maybe they’ll want to vent and you don’t know how to help them in their time of need; these are all valid reasons, but don’t let that stop you from reaching out. What your friend needs to know more than anything is that they have a network of friends and family who are there for them, even in the smallest ways possible.
When you’re planning services and arrangements for a loved one, the options and choices may be overwhelming. At Bohlender Funeral Chapel, our team is here to help guide you through this difficult time with quality, compassionate services, and individualized attention. If you’re considering cremation in your end-of-life plans or for a loved one, here are four reasons our team recommends this option.
When it comes to funeral services and memorial services, many people have questions that are difficult to ask. At Bohlender Funeral Chapel, our team is here to assist families and individuals through the death of a loved one with compassionate, informative services. Here are four common questions our team receives about cremation services.
Different cultures around the world deal with death in different ways. Many choose to have a cremation or burial ceremony just like in the U.S., however, there are some funeral ceremonies that are drastically different than what people in the U.S. are accustomed to. In today’s blog here at Bohlender Funeral Chapel in Fort Collins, we talk about other beautiful funeral ceremony traditions and where they are popular. Learn more about our funeral home services here at Bohlender Funeral Chapelin Fort Collins and get help planning the perfect celebration of life for your loved one. New Orleans Jazz Funerals You might be thinking, “Well, New Orleans is in the U.S.!” — and you’re right. But, that doesn’t mean that they can’t have unique funeral ceremony traditions. Not everyone in New Orleans has a jazz funeral, but anyone can request one if they’d like. However, most jazz funerals are held for musicians. In a traditional jazz funeral, the funeral ceremony begins at the church or funeral home and is then led to the cemetery by a marching band. The music starts off slow and heavy while everyone is walking to the cemetery. Once the body is buried and people are on the way back from the cemetery, the music becomes upbeat and celebratory to honor and celebrate the departed. Anyone and everyone nearby are encouraged to join as long as they are respectful and courteous. Eternal Reefs Eternal Reefs is a Florida-based company that has taken a completely new approach to funerals. Eternal Reefs takes cremated remains and places them in an environmentally safe concrete urn. The urn is created in such a way that it creates new habitats for marine wildlife. This makes it so that you or your loved one become a part of a coral reef and help to support new life. Eternal Reefs are a great way to commemorate your loved one and help them make the world a better place. Even though there are no oceans or coral reefs here in Fort Collins, that doesn’t stop our family at Bohlender Funeral Chapelfrom offering a funeral ceremony that is beneficial for the family and the earth. We are proud to offer our green burial funeral service, learn more about it here at Bohlender Funeral Chapel. Burial Beads In certain areas of the world, there is very limited space for burials and other traditional funeral ceremony practices. One method that South Korea has been practicing regularly is the burial bead funeral ceremony. With burial beads, cremated remains are pressed into beautiful beads that closely resemble that of jewelry or pearls. A wide variety of colors and urn options are available. This is a way for the people of South Korea to find beauty from a difficult situation while also making use of the limited space. The Philippines All across the Philippines, funeral ceremonies vary wildly. There are more than nine very different funeral traditions across the country. Some of the more poetic and beautiful traditions include tree burials and hanging coffins. Tree Burials Tree burials are most commonly practiced in the Cavite region of the Philippines. Cavite is located about 10 miles from the bustling Manila and they have still managed to maintain their unique funeral ceremony customs. Tree burials are where the person who expects their time is limited will go and select the tree of their choice. Once the tree is selected and the person’s days are numbered, a small shelter is built near the tree for them to live in. When they pass, they are entombed upright into the selected tree. Hanging Coffin In the Sagada region of the Philippines, coffins are often hung off the sides of cliffs or on the walls of high-up caves. The elderly or sick craft their own caskets by hand if they are able and once they have moved on, they are placed in the casket they created and hung high. They are placed next to their ancestors and loved ones as high off the ground as possible. This is because the native people believe that the higher the dead are to heaven, the easier their journey will be. This is a tradition that has been performed for thousands for years and will likely continue for years to come. Fantasy Coffins Ghana is a country in Africa where people have taken to a funeral ceremony called fantasy coffins. Fantasy coffins are unique coffins that help to represent who the person was in their life. For example, someone who was a fisherman their whole life may choose to be buried in a fish coffin. Or someone who had a love for books and novels may choose to be buried in a book-shaped coffin. These are fun and lighthearted ways to memorialize and celebrate the life of the dearly departed. We hope that you learned something new and got valuable insight into other culture’s funeral ceremony customs. If you would like to learn more about the funeral services we offer here at Bohlender Funeral Chapel in Fort Collins, don’t hesitate to reach out to us. We are a family-owned funeral home with a passion for helping people in any way we can. We offer invaluable healing experiences for you and your family through our cremation service, burial service, funeral flowers, and much more.
Planning a funeral can be overwhelming, especially when it comes to budgeting for the various expenses involved. At Bohlender Funeral Chapel in Fort Collins, we understand the importance of honoring a loved one while managing financial responsibilities. Let us help you navigate the funeral planning process, ensuring you can create a meaningful celebration that respects your loved one’s memory without stretching your finances. Then start the pre-planning process with us today.
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